We, Who Are Shaped by Pain
by broken-Angel-requiem-Soul
Summary: How can they say that they know -- that they are Shinobi -- when they haven't experience it! To be a Shinboi is to be a savant of death. One-shot. AU. Implied NaruHina. DateMe Entry.


We, Who Are Shaped by Pain

My DateMe entry for January Contest: Memories. The idea just came to me. Somehow this seems to go outside my confront zone...

* * *

_Shinobi._

A word that can send shivers down the spins of many civilians, and prolong the anxiety of young academy students. But do they know what that word means? How can they say that they know -- that they **are **Shinobi -- when they haven't experience it?! The _pain_, the frustration, the emotional detachment!

The death of those you love...

"We are-"

He remember, as if too clearly, the first day that he met the girl. It was at the park when all the children that actually had the courage to disobey their parents to talk to him left. She was the only one there, and was sitting on the swing, crying.

_"Oi!" A young Uzumaki Naruto said. "Why are you crying?"_

_"M-My o-onii-san left m-me h-here." A soft, meek voice answered._

_"Don't cry. I'll be with you till then!" The blonde said as he took a heroic pose, which made his companion laugh. "There we go!" He announced, "Whats your name?"_

_"H-Hyuuga-a H-Hinata"_

_"Well, Hinata-chan. I'm Uzumaki Naruto! The future Hokage, believe it!"_

Naruto had to laugh at the ridiculousness of how he acted back then. But he wondered if he had known what was laid for him in the future, would he had been so lax in the past? If he had know the lives he had to take, would he still wanted to be a ninja? If he had know what fate had destined for him be, would he still be here?

Fate and destiny, huh? That's something that Hyuuga Neji had sported for a while.

"-gathered here today-"

_"Oi, everyone, settle down...." Iruka-sensei said getting more anger tick marks on his face at the rudeness his class displayed. "I said BE QUIET!!" He finally scream, and was pleased at how the class immediately shut up to pacify him._

_"Iruka-sensei, what are we doing today?" Sakura piped after a couple of seconds of silence._

_"Glad you asked. Today we are working on chakra-" he was cut off by his students groans and anger marks started to appear again. "Ahem. We're working on chakra manipulation."_

_"What?" Naruto yelled, "You mean more reading and statius?"_

_"It's called statics, dobe." A cool, indifference voice corrected._

_"Teme-"_

_"Enough, both of you. And no Naruto, no reading required today. All you need is a leaf."_

_"A leaf?" Several of his students repeated; some thinking that he'd gone crazy._

_"Hai. The point of this exercise is to gather enough chakra in your hands to move the leaf. Like this," Iruka put a green-yellow leaf in the center of his palm, and his students watched curiously as it began to turn in a rapid, clock-wise circle. "Now, after I hand you a leaf, I want you to try this. Don't worry if your leaf spins in the opposite direction, its just the way your chakra coils are formed. Alright, start."_

_The academy teacher had to sigh when Kiba exclaimed he had move the leaf off his hand, and told the Inuzuka to close the window next to him. Looking around he was pleased to noticed that one his students already got the hang of it after three minutes. He wasn't very surprised to see that she was the first one, afterall chakra manipulation is important to her clan._

_Taking another look around, he saw that most students weren't even putting very much effort into it. Maybe they needed some encouragement or deflated pride? Whichever worked._

_"Oh, it seems like one student already got it. Congratulations, Hyuuga Hinata. Since you got it under five minutes, you are excused from the test." His students looked at the Hyuuga girl and then rapidly turned to their sensei once his words set in._

_"Test? What test!?"_

_"The test I've decided to have you all take. But I'm sure that since Hinata-san here made it, so can you. So for the people who manage to do it within the next 25 minutes is also exempted from the test!" Iruka had to laugh behind his hand, when he saw the looks of determination on his students faces. He was so going to share this with the other teachers in the Teachers' Lounge._

Naruto had to laugh at how naïve they were back then. When things were so simple and the only choices you had to make was to do your homework, or participate in the lesson. Instead of wondering if you will live to complete the mission, or to disarm or kill. Nothing really lasts forever, and the kids who aspire to become Shinobi will learn, _in order to learn the arts you will give your humanity up._

And even then, there's no guarantee that you'll make. As an older, more experienced ninja, he felt like a croupier; watching as novices bet their lives on missions and take in the money if they were successful.

"-to grieve the death of a very talented Shinobi,-"

_"Oi! Hinata-chan! Don't give up yet!" Naruto yelled to the stage beneath him, watching as his friend struggle to get up._

_"I... won't give up!" Everyone that heard the comment and knew the girl was astonished at how the Hyuuga girl face became fierce with determination. They became speechless as they watched her and her cousin fight each other in a graceful dance of chakra._

_Kurenai was perhaps the most shocked; this was a side of her student that she has never seen before. But the shock didn't hinder the fact that she was one of the proudest of her student. 'There might be a place for her in the Shinobi world if she keeps this up.' She thought fondly._

_"Ah!" Hinata yelled as her cousin final hit knocked her off her feet, with her blood spraying the air..._

"-Hyuuga Hinata." Naruto finished, watching as Shinobi walked to her grave dropping a white rose on it. Hinata had been dead for three days and Naruto had decided that it was time to start burying their dead, despite the fact that he knew their enemies wouldn't wait.

War never waits for those who died to be given a proper funeral. It was time to get back to their stations.

He watched as those Kunochi who had cried dried their tears and left. He wonder if those tears were real or was it just the body reacting to such crucial times?

"Hokage-sama," Naruto turned to the ANBU that requested him, "they're getting closer."

"Aa. Tell ANBU squads 8 through 12 to get to Alpha point B and C." Looking at the grave once more, he disappeared in leaves.

He was intrigued to know if any other Shinobi remembered their past.

If you ask Shinobi if they had the chance to relive life would they still want to become ninja, most would say, "I don't know,". To them their past was nothing more than a burden; something to cloud their mind and hesitate their actions. And also they couldn't remember their own childish laughter. They've forgotten what it is to be a kid, only knowing the arts for which they trained in for years.

To be a Shinobi is to be a savant of death.

**I'm disappointed at the ending. I lost my momentom at the last flashback. Sigh. Well, what'd ya think?**


End file.
